Lately I've been thinking a lot about living and experiences and simple things. About image and how people portray themselves, announce themselves, cloak themselves. This started to come out a little bit in my last post, but I've been struggling to put into words what I've been thinking and feeling. Then I read some posts that really resonated with me and brought everything I'd been thinking together (this one for example). The yearning for honesty. The desire to really feel and experience things.
I find myself continuously questioning all the moments and images that seem too easy, too perfect, too deliberate. All the pretend friending and pretty lifeing. Because my reality looks very little like all the dreamy, filtered pictures and nice outfits and styled life settings. And quite frankly, that's ok. In fact, that's pretty great. I want real connections, real people, real moments and memories. I want to experience everything genuine and be present in reality and be myself with other people being themselves. Lately I've felt like everything is a big competition. I look around and wonder if I'm losing. And I compare and overanalyze and even get upset sometimes. But then I stop myself and refocus my gaze upon what's right in front of me, what matters, and I realize that I'm definitely not losing. Sometimes life is messy and hard, but it's real. And real may be less pretty in some respects, but it’s far more beautiful in so many others. It’s fulfilling and disappointing and happy and sad and hectic and lazy and ridiculous and nowhere near perfect, and that’s what’s so great about it. Although I love adventures and fresh, wholesome, seasonal meals and beautiful photos, sometimes I’m tired and overwhelmed, and I eat chips and drink soda and lay on the couch with my boyfriend and my cat, and I’m totally ok with that. So I'm going to work on expressing that more here. I'm going to freaking live y'all, and it may not always be picturesque, but it will be real.
My pathetic attempt to get my gif on à la Izy.
These pancakes have become my go-to Sunday breakfast. I love how puffy and fat they are, and they stay that way sitting in the oven while you scramble to fry some eggs (!!) because you didn't time breakfast so well and you broke the yolk when you tried to flip the first egg and the bacon is still crisping and the coffee isn't ready and maybe you want to shower before you eat. They're patient pancakes. Real life pancakes.
I like to use overripe berries (you know, the ones you bought last weekend but didn't finish during the week) in pancakes, as they get wonderfully jammy when cooked. These pancakes are hearty and delicious on their own, so you can snatch one out of the oven to munch on while standing over that broken yolk then drizzle the rest with maple syrup once you get your breakfast life together.
Blueberry Banana Buckwheat (or Triple B) Pancakes
makes 10 small, thick pancakes
Note: These can be made with all buckwheat, but I really like the texture and flavor of using half whole wheat.
60 g (1/2 cup) buckwheat flour
65 g (1/2 cup) whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
large pinch salt
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
pinch ground cloves
3-4 small bananas (10 oz.)
juice from half a lemon
2 tsp. pure maple syrup
1 tsp. vanilla bean paste or extract
1/2 cup very ripe blueberries
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Peel bananas and break each into three or four pieces. Arrange pieces on a baking sheet and roast 10-15 minutes, until softened and lightly brown. Let cool 5 minutes. Decrease oven temperature to 200 degrees F and set a small cookie sheet on the middle rack.
Set griddle or skillet over medium heat. Whisk together flours, baking soda, salt, and spices in a medium bowl. Set aside. Place bananas in a small bowl, add lemon juice, and mash. Whisk in eggs, maple syrup, and vanilla. Pour wet ingredients into dry ingredients and mix with a wooden spoon until almost combined. Fold in blueberries. Batter will be very thick.
Oil the griddle or skillet, and reduce heat to medium-low. Drop a 1/4 cup of batter onto the griddle or skillet and spread out just slightly with your finger. Cook a few minutes until edges begin to set then flip and cook about two more minutes until golden and cooked through. Transfer to cookie sheet in preheated oven until ready to serve.