Calming Banana Granola (vegan and gluten-free)

This week, I officially became a full-time member of the workforce. It's pretty weird, what with having been in school full-time for the past... my whole life. Although a lot is different, mornings especially are. I mean, I've had early classes before, but you can sort of just roll out of bed, throw on some leggings and Keds, and pretty much sleep type your way through classes. That isn't so much the case now. I've really been hoping that I will, at some point, become a morning person. Mornings for me, are a sort of slow, disorderly routine. Alarm --> snooze --> alarm --> snooze --> alarm --> etc. I generally blame my cat for the fact that getting out of bed is so hard. He lays right between me and the edge of my side of the bed, making it pretty much impossible for me to get up. Impossible. It's totally the cat.

I always think I look funny in the morning. Not in a sleepy way, more in a I-shouldn't-be-seen-by-other-people-at-this-hour way. I usually will take a few seconds to gaze in the mirror and decide whether or not my hair "slept" well enough that I don't have to do anything to it. The bangs I'm trying to grow out typically do not, but I will generally decide that the rest of my hair has. And I don't have time to do anything about it anyway. But I do have time to make coffee. There is always time for coffee. So, while brushing my teeth, I'll start a kettle of water, weigh out my coffee beans, grind them on the setting Dale has instructed me is the one for Chemex. At some point I'll stop brushing my teeth after realizing that I am still brushing my teeth and have been for much too long. I may make a salad for lunch, or not and instead grab a banana and some PB or chips and hummus or whatever else I can stuff into a plastic baggy or throw in my massive handbag. I may turn on the Today show for background noise about some band called One Direction or whether it's appropriate to spy on my toddler's Facebook account or the latest opinions of professionals on professional things. I may do my makeup while sitting on my bed, or in the bathroom, ...or in the car (only at stoplights, y'all, chill). I almost always accidentally let the water for the coffee get too hot and have to wait for it to cool to the proper temperature (coffee-making is serious business), during which time I likely could have done something about that poorly slept hair. Then I'll realize that not only is the water too hot, I'm freaking hot and so I'll fall flat on my back on my bed with the fan on high to try to stop sweating and then think about the fact that I'm still in pajamas and was supposed to leave 20 minutes ago and "what happened to all that time I had?" and ohmygodmorningsaretheworst.

No Bake Almond Cream Tartlets (with vegan and gluten-free options)

I have tried to write this post so many times but can't seem to figure out what to say. Disappearing from this blog for five-ish months was not in any way intentional, and I hope I have not lost any of you along the way. Life sort of took over, and I decided to just let it. I took my final finals ever in April. I graduated law school mid-May then left town for a road trip from Atlanta to San Diego to help a friend move. When I got back, I immediately began studying for the bar exam. I started a new job mid-June. I went home to Texas mid-July and took the bar exam at the end of July. Then about a week and half ago, I moved from my condo to a house, and here we are.

I baked quite a bit throughout all the foregoing madness, played with new-to-me ingredients, had many a failure, and many sweet and satisfying successes. The more I think about it though, my absence here wasn't just a result of being busy in real life (and I hate when people complain/brag about being busy anyway). I also spent some time just thinking about my food, how I want this little internet space of mine to move forward, the conversation I want to contribute to, and generally how I want to live my food life, both savory and sweet. I have so much that I want to share, and my thoughts will come out in due course. For now though, I am back with tartlets.

Blueberry Banana Buckwheat Pancakes

Lately I've been thinking a lot about living and experiences and simple things. About image and how people portray themselves, announce themselves, cloak themselves. This started to come out a little bit in my last post, but I've been struggling to put into words what I've been thinking and feeling. Then I read some posts that really resonated with me and brought everything I'd been thinking together (this one for example). The yearning for honesty. The desire to really feel and experience things.

I find myself continuously questioning all the moments and images that seem too easy, too perfect, too deliberate. All the pretend friending and pretty lifeing. Because my reality looks very little like all the dreamy, filtered pictures and nice outfits and styled life settings. And quite frankly, that's ok. In fact, that's pretty great. I want real connections, real people, real moments and memories. I want to experience everything genuine and be present in reality and be myself with other people being themselves. Lately I've felt like everything is a big competition. I look around and wonder if I'm losing. And I compare and overanalyze and even get upset sometimes. But then I stop myself and refocus my gaze upon what's right in front of me, what matters, and I realize that I'm definitely not losing. Sometimes life is messy and hard, but it's real. And real may be less pretty in some respects, but it’s far more beautiful in so many others. It’s fulfilling and disappointing and happy and sad and hectic and lazy and ridiculous and nowhere near perfect, and that’s what’s so great about it. Although I love adventures and fresh, wholesome, seasonal meals and beautiful photos, sometimes I’m tired and overwhelmed, and I eat chips and drink soda and lay on the couch with my boyfriend and my cat, and I’m totally ok with that. So I'm going to work on expressing that more here. I'm going to freaking live y'all, and it may not always be picturesque, but it will be real.

My pathetic attempt to get my gif on à la Izy.

These pancakes have become my go-to Sunday breakfast. I love how puffy and fat they are, and they stay that way sitting in the oven while you scramble to fry some eggs (!!) because you didn't time breakfast so well and you broke the yolk when you tried to flip the first egg and the bacon is still crisping and the coffee isn't ready and maybe you want to shower before you eat. They're patient pancakes. Real life pancakes.

Bourbon Banana Nut Bread

See that bottom slice? It's soaking in bourbon glaze. It's going to be super-bourboned. In the best way.

Sometimes I just want something fulfilling and simple, like a fried egg or french fries or banana bread, ya know? Sometimes I also want bourbon. Who am I kidding, most times I want bourbon.

Actually, I always thought I was a gin kinda gal (see previous post... I quite clearly am), but I have learned that I also have a serious affection for bourbon. I've decided that bourbon is kind of like a dog--always makes you feel like you're awesome but can sometimes cause trouble. I like that. Plus, bourbon pairs really well with my favorite ginger beer, with my nerves, and now with my super ripe bananas.

At this point, I feel I should provide a disclaimer. I don't have to have alcoholic glaze with eeeverything I bake. It's just that, well, it's summaaatiiime. Gin and bourbon glazed desserts are totally allowed/encouraged in my book. Onward!
 
This bread is thick and moist and nutty and has lots of sexy quick bread crevices to capture that kick of bourbon glaze. It's breakfast, it's dessert, it's an after-work cocktail. These are beautiful things happening here.